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  • What is Your Favorite Infertility Song?

    Dawn Davenport

    20
    Dixie Chicks song about infertility

    What song helped you survive infertility?

    I don’t know about you, but there is nothing like music to change my mood, invigorate me, motivate me, or bring me to tears. And there is nothing like infertility to make you need to have your mood changed, or to be invigorated or motivated, or to bring you to tears. What music has helped you cope with infertility? Please share your favorite in the comments.

    A great infertility song is So Hard When It Doesn’t Come Easy by The Dixie Chicks . Two of the band members, sisters Martie Maguire (fiddle player) and Emily Robison (guitarist), have struggled with infertility.

     

    Of her infertility struggles Martie Maguire said:

    “One of the hardest things in a relationship is you picture where the relationship is headed next after you’ve gotten married and you’ve been together a couple of years. …And you grow up as a woman, I think, thinking you’re going to have a child and that it’s just kind of your God-given right to the next step. And then when it doesn’t happen, you’re shocked and saddened, and it’s such an emotional journey to go on.”

    Emily Robison:

    “I think you go through almost every emotion. I know my husband felt guilty. I know I felt guilty. For a moment you sit there and think if this doesn’t happen, will he love me any less? And those are the self-destructive thoughts that probably you shouldn’t be thinking, but I just think it’s natural.

    It feels strange to talk about it now because I have got three children, and when they’re climbing all over me it’s bizarre to talk about infertility problems. But thank God for science. We have been blessed to live in an era when we have been able to do something about it.”

    Postscript

    Both Maquire and Robinson were able to conceive through fertility treatment. Robison and her first husband are parents of Gus and twins, Henry and Juliana; she and her now husband are parents to Violet. Maguire and her husband have twins, Eva and Kathleen, and Harper.

    Lyrics to It’s So Hard

    Back when we started
    We didn’t know how hard it was
    Living on nothing
    But what the wind would bring to us
    Now we’ve got something
    I can imagine fighting for
    So why is fighting all that we’re good at anymore

    And sometimes I don’t have the energy
    To prove everybody wrong
    And I try my best to be strong
    But you know it’s so hard
    It’s so hard

    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come fast
    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
    It’s so hard

    It felt like a given
    Something a woman’s born to do
    A natural ambition
    To see a reflection of me and you

    And I’d feel so guilty
    If that was a gift I couldn’t give
    And could you be happy
    If life wasn’t how we pictured it

    And sometimes I just want to wait it out
    To prove everybody wrong
    And I need your help to move on
    Cause you know it’s so hard
    It’s so hard

    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come fast
    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
    So hard

    I can live for the moment
    When all these clouds open up for me to see
    And show me a vision
    Of you and me swimming peacefully

    Last night you told me
    That you can’t remember
    How to feel free

    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come fast
    It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy, easy

    It’s so hard

     

    Image credit: Dixie Chicks at MTS Centre

    06/08/2014 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Blog, Infertility, Infertility Blog | 20 Comments



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    20 Responses to What is Your Favorite Infertility Song?

    1. Anonymous IF says:

      My two IF songs (one sad, one meant to inspire hope) would have to be:
      Written in the Stars by Elton John and Leanne Rimes. it’s not about IF per se, but the chorus is a perfect summary of how it feels for a couple to be IF:
      “Is it written in the stars
      Are we paying for some crime?
      Is this all that we are good for
      Just a stretch of mortal time?
      Is this God’s experiment,
      In which we have no say
      In which we’d live in paradise,
      If only for a day?”

      “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” by either Bruce Cockburn or the Barenaked Ladies (yes, that is the name of a real band). I like both versions but the one by BNL is more upbeat. The line that represents the fight against IF for me is this one:
      “When you are lovers in a dangerous time
      Sometimes you’re made to feel as if your love’s a crime
      Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
      Got to kick at the darkness ’till it bleeds daylight”

    2. Well, my infertility song was Pam Tillis’s Melancholy Child. A little abstract, but it made sense to me. Melancholy was how I felt. My adoption wait songs were “It’s the Climb” because I was learning so much and “I Will Wait”. Also, I loved “Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” My open-adoption song is “Soul Sister” and my motherhood song may be “You Make Me Smile.” I bet many of you relate!!! I’ll post to FB, too.

      Love,
      Jody

    3. Justin says:

      My infertility song was Achinoam Nini’s interpretation of Ave Maria, which is the most beautiful one I encountered. It is not necessarily an infertility song, but a song of being deeply wounded by life and desperately wishing for hope. It made me cry so many times after my wife and I lost our baby, and still brings tears to my eyes up to this day.
      Here’s its link:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj_7Fq-MZyg

    4. AnonDC says:

      Kate Voegele “Lift me up” makes me want to cry every single time. I’m not sure if it’s about infertility but it’s about struggle in general.
      http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/katevoegele/liftmeup.html

    5. Kathy says:

      Mine is more of an adoption song as well, but it is “God Gave Me You” by David Barnes

    6. Emily says:

      Mine is kind of a downer, but it speaks to that disconnection I sometimes feel from my husband and family. Sometimes you feel like a stranger to yourself and your loved ones.
      Here’s Fiona Apple with The Child Is Gone
      http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vC7svmK0uBs

      “Honey help me out of this mess. I’m a stranger to myself. But don’t reach for me. I’m too far away. Don’t wanna talk cuz there’s nothing left to say.”

    7. Anonymous says:

      I’ve never heard this before but it brought it all back.

    8. Connie says:

      Then there is this song by the Wilsons who have 2 bio boys and adopted a daughter 6ish years ago. Mine all Mine. http://youtu.be/lyCV82gip4g

    9. Connie says:

      http://youtu.be/FnB4q9VsDPA in case the last link doesn’t work.

    10. Connie says:

      Stop for me by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. My favorite Canadian singer and one of my favorite songs by her. I was listening to her CD on the way to the clinic and when this song came on it sort of hit me over the head with meaning.

    11. Christi says:

      More adoption related, but my daughter – age 8 now, but when she was 7 asked what the song “God Blessed the Open Road” was about. I explained it, pretty simplistically, but she suddenly announced “That’s just like us, Mama! God blessed our broken road too!”

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